To Faye, With Love…

Posted: May 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

Faye and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on Saturday (May 5… which is apparently Cinco de Mayo… which I could care less about). Contrary to what a lot of people in this world say in their lives… I’m not at all surprised we made it this long, I’m not surpised that she’s still around when she has had to “deal” with me or that I’m still around when I have had to “deal” with her… or whatever type of downplaying metaphor we normally add in here.

The fact of the matter is that Jesus is the center of our marriage and we are the love of each others’ lives… so why should I attempt to downplay anything? I love our life together… that is not to say that it hasn’t been without challenges, and it certainly isn’t to say that we have “arrived” in any way… but our marriage has strength because of the Father, and I’m very proud of that!

I’d like to share little observations and confessions (not always negative) of our time together to pass on to folks… enjoy…

-If you are single and reading this… listen to your pastor when he does a sermon or series on marriage. I ignored so many, and I’m convinced that I missed some good nuggets. Of course it applies to you… don’t be naive.

-I don’t always open the car door for Faye… I will do that more :

-Going to bed angry is not good. I downplayed when folks said that… even as Scripture says it… because it meant I had to take the lead and deal with junk. Nothing good comes from it. (Please don’t limit that to a spouse)

-I can choose to see Faye as helping me or nagging me… this is a pivital choice for a lot of husbands.

-Husbands, you are in second place to most people associated with your family… you move to third place when you have a child together. I have a brother in Christ whose wife recently gave birth to twins… he went from second place to fourth place in the span of a few minutes. Glory in the fact that people love your family. Be the man that keeps them on a pedestal to be loved.

-You realize how decieved you are the more you look at the Biblical model of manhood, womanhood, and marriage as compared to what you see portrayed. Seriously, this world has gone out of its way to make men look like shmoes, women look like meat, and marriage look like the combination of the 2. You’ve bought into those ideas more than you know. Pretty sad…

-Faye and I laugh together and wrestle with our kids… some of the funnest times. I don’t let them win.

-Always tell your spouse about what you learn/hear from the Father… ALWAYS

-Always listen to your spouse about what they learn/hear from the Father… ALWAYS

-Do your money/budgeting together… seriously… one of you gets better at it, and the other learns patience πŸ˜‰

-I tell Faye that she is beautiful all the time… because all the time, she is beautiful

-There are times I’ve chosen to give up on making peace between us… knowingly… by allowing frustration and my desire to be “right” rule… don’t do that.

-Make it a point to treat your spouse right always, but especially in front of your kids… Trey and Makyah are well aware of how Momma and Daddy feel about each other.

-Speaking of Trey and Makyah… make sure you talk with your spouse about keeping the things of God constantly in front of the face of your children. I want my kids to be FAR more in love with Jesus than their Momma and Daddy.

-Most of the time… you have to work by the world’s schedule/whim. Take time to make the world work by your schedule/whim… sometimes, your spouse needs that. Pffft, sometimes you need it.

-I can carry my wife up stairs… she likes that. Carry your wife every once in a while

-Pray together… every night… take the lead in this. I don’t often enough…

-Invite your spouse to further the Kingdom with you… practically too… get him/her when you are praying for healing… tell him/her when a miracle is needed… ask him/her when a broken heart needs ministering to… even if they say “no”, its so cool when they say “yes”

I could probably go on writing for a while. I’ve done lots of good things, lots of bad things, but every one of those has a lesson in it. We work in 2 separate ministries with 2 separate demographics in 2 separate job positions… so life is always interesting and full of lessons πŸ˜‰ I didn’t want to write a bunch of sentimental crap that wasn’t rooted in truth. If it sounds sentimental, but its truthful… I guess that is ok.

Sometimes, I get frustrated with that stuff that sounds ok and makes people go “awww”, but its not rooted in any kind of Godly truth (What other kind of truth is there?).

Love, if you are reading this, you are the delight of my eyes.

Seriously, she is… and the Lord has used her to teach me what my relationship with Him should be like.

I also expect her to attempt to knock me out for mentioning her in a post in public. She can try… I ain’t no easy win.

Hope this passed a little bit of wisdom on to you all.

Carl <


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