7 Things You Didn’t Think About in Your Fight for Purity

Posted: January 12, 2013 in God, Pornography, Purity, Religious, Thoughts, Young Adult

The Young Adult Ministry at The Freedom Center is focusing on “purity” for the foreseeable future.

Purity means a lot to me… because I’ve fought so hard to continue having it.

It’s been over 5 years since I viewed any type of pornography or engaged in the actions that follow (You like that PC phrase, right!?!?). This is one of my proudest accomplishments, one in which I realized the true meaning of co-laboring with the Lord… one in which I realize that my freedom is both rare and common.

I challenged the young adults to do 2 things… 1. If you struggle to remain pure, understand that there is freedom for you. Talk to someone who is free. 2. If you don’t struggle to remain pure, help those who do.

If you are like I was, you’re embarrassed to admit your problem. So I want to share with you the first 7 things that came to my mind about purity…

1. Desire… You have to want it more than you want it.

What I mean by this is that you’ll always pursue what you love the most. You can SAY you want to be free from porn… you can SAY you want to stop having sex… but if you continue to DO those things, you still love them more than you love purity.

There really isn’t an excuse… you can say what you like. You run after what you love most.

2. Accountability… Not your Daddy’s accountability.

I hate the word “accountability”. Our idea of it is soooo outdated. I read a book and the ideas of it, and I usually cringe. I believe that for as many as have been helped by traditional views of accountability, that many have been jaded by it.

I was one of those.

To me, accountability was being asked every week how I was doing, then they’d forget, and I’d go neck deep, and that was that.

It wasn’t until I was in a close knit community of guys that asked me everyday and we fellowshipped together (underrated, but vital)… then, I really understood what accountability meant.

Accountability is me wanting to be held to a standard and someone wanting to hold me to that standard. It’s a commitment on both ends… if at ANY TIME there is only one end, it can easily fail.

3. Roadblocks… Never trust yourself… even when you trust yourself.

Like I said… it’s been over 5 years. I have X3Watch on my iPhone and iPad. My wife has all my passwords and checks my text messages. I don’t ride alone in cars with girls.

Do I NEED all of that? I don’t know… but I don’t want to find out.

See, what I don’t think people get is that YOU normally open this door. I opened it. I have to answer for it. I’m not talking about saying “sorry” for the next 48 years of my life, but I would rather not find out where my limits are… I don’t care to find out that much… neither should you.

4. Patience… With yourself.

Failure isn’t an option… intense nail biting while curled up in a corner watching wrestling documenaries on Netflix is an option.

You are allowing your entire viewpoint to be changed. You are coming clean from an addiction. For some, the Lord delivered in a snap… blessings to them… that was not me. Be patient with yourself… the “want” doesn’t leave right away, but Tuesday is better than Monday, June is better than May, and 2013 will be better than 2012.

Of course, it won’t be if you keep failing and justify it…

5. Overcomers… The blind can’t lead the blind.

I can think of many times where me and another guy (yes, stereotypical, I know) sat staring at a situation that neither of us knew how to fix, but we were content to hope that one of us would stumble on the answer and receive praise for the accomplishment. I hear the quiet chuckles of familiarity from men everywhere šŸ™‚

You can’t afford to do that here. FAR too often, the blind looks to the blind for help… because of a friendship, sometimes because of a lack of knowledge. Sometimes the blind has no idea who is blind and who isn’t blind.

If this is an issue for you… you find someone who has overcome or never needed to overcome (Because those folks can really tell you how to stay pure), park yourself at their feet, throw away your “cool card”, and listen to everything they say.


6. Moments… Don’t look at the big picture

It’s too overwhelming to look at everything you have to do here… trust me.

You know what’s not overwhelming? Now. And, now… and, wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit… now.

Moments, folks. Moments.

Have your freedom in the now. Claim it this moment and next moment and the next moment. If you think about the daunting task of purity for the rest of your life, you’ll look at a huge wall. Do yourself a favor and see the first brick… then the next one.

7. Freedom… You fight for what you already have.

This is my absolute favorite!!!

What I came to realize is that I fought and fought and fought (and lost) for what I already had.


Jesus set me free. I was just sitting in the jail cell staring at open shackles wondering how I became so enslaved.

Sounds odd?

It is.

Jesus lived, died, and rose again to grant me true life. Complete life… I already had it… I just wasn’t walking in it.

This stuff sounds really practical, and it is… but you need to understand 2 things.

1. A lack of purity is really damaging. It messed with your viewpoint on the opposite sex. It’s a dissatisfaction with reality. I don’t care what anyone says… Whether its porn, sleeping around, whatever… it’s damaging and extremely dangerous.

2. Freedom and fulfillment wasn’t possible for me without Jesus. This was an addiction that started with a magazine and a movie when I was 12 years old and it lasted until I was almost 28… I’m telling you now that without Jesus, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Please understand that this isn’t just for the person “hopelessly” addicted to porn. This is for those of you who are having sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend. This is for those of you that are having sex with the person you think you will marry. This is for those of you who look at porn every once in a while. This is for those of you who have any kind of sex addiction.

Hope this helps you out…

Be free!


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